Sunday, December 22, 2013

Thursday, November 28, 2013

NFL week 2: Steelers at Ravens

The undefeated Steelers continue their push for the playoffs in a few hours. The Steelers have had fifteen years to practice calling the Thanksgiving day coin toss.

Meanwhile, the Pirates and Red Sox World Series dates should be announced soon. The Bucs should be well rested after the cowardly Cards forfeited games 6 and 7 of the NLDS to enter the losers bracket.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

NFL week 1: Steelers at Jets

Finally, the preseason ends and we have meaningful football.

Kickdown in half an hour.

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

NLDS Game 5: Pirates at Cardinals

2013 Cy Young winner Wainwright vs. 2014 Cy Young winner Cole.

Game on in an hour. Beer fort at heightened alert.

Sunday, October 06, 2013

NLDS Game 3: Cardinals at Pirates

Blackout in the beer fort as we prepare for today's game. Plenty of stout on hand, too.

Kelly and Liriano at four.

Friday, October 04, 2013

NLDS Game 2: Pirates at Cardinals

These sneaky Cardinals are starting today's game even earlier.

Lynn and Cole starting shortly.

Thursday, October 03, 2013

NLDS Game 1: Pirates at Cardinals

The St. Louis team was hoping to slip this one in while no one was paying attention -- the game is scheduled to start at 5 pm our time -- but I highly doubt that is going to work. My guess is the Pirates will be there on time, bringing the lumber.

And we were up all night with the dwarves, tending the fires beneath the boiling cauldrons of edible barnyard animals. Beer Fort is ready. Redshirts will step away from the portcullis.

AJFB and Wainwright to start.

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

2013 Wild Card: Reds at Pirates

We are boiling turkey vulture, horses, and pigs above the portcullis of our mangificent beer fort.

We are also eyeing (hopefully) a little space on the beer fort wall. With mild re-arranging, there could be room there for another 8x10. But an 8x10 of--of Cutch? Pedro? Walker? Liriano? Byrd? It is pleasing to consider the possibilities.

Beer fort light show at seven-fifty-five. Cueto and Liriano at eight.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Game 162: Pirates at Reds

Another meaningless scrimmage as the Pirates rest up for the playoffs.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Game 161: Pirates at Reds

Bronson and Ground Chuck
Win brings playoffs to Pittsburgh
A whole lot of beer

Friday, September 27, 2013

Game 160: Pirates at Reds

Bailey and Burnett
Wild card home field on the line
Or Bucs win Central?

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Game 158: Pirates at Cubs

Rusin and Cole tonight at eight. Bucs are two games back with five games left.

Untucked and still not wearing goggles deep in the Beer Fort, we're sharpening more weapons.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Game 157: Pirates at Cubs

Morton and Samardzija on Chicago time.

Tonight we are boiling horses in the many vats of boiling oil raging above the portcullis of the beer fort. That and we are sharpening weapons.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Game 156: Reds at Pirates

Arroyo and Locke in an hour.

Pirates are two games back of the Cardinals with seven games to play.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Game 155: Reds at Pirates


Bailey and Burnett before long.

We are deep-frying a turkey vulture in the pot of boiling oil we keep above the beer fort portcullis.

Barely remember last night's entertainment. Medicating.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Game 154: Reds at Pirates

Latos and Liriano in a little bit.

We are deep-frying a turkey in the pot of boiling oil we keep above the beer fort portcullis. Still heavily entertained from last night's action. Ready for more.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Game 153: Padres at Pirates

Cole and Kennedy underway. Petey just went yard in the 4th to put the PBC up 2-1.

There's a lot of empty seats here in the Beer Fort. With only ten games left and two games back, a WIN would help.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Game 152: Padres at Pirates

Morton and Ross tonight at seven.

The Bucs are one game back of the Cards with 11 games left, which is a longer way of saying now is the time to WIN.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Game 151: Padres at Pirates

Stults and Locke at 7.

After last night's loss, I am expecting renewed enthusiasm and prowess at bunting and defensive shifts.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Game 150: Padres at Pirates

Burnett and Cashner tonight at seven. Bucs magic number is 6 with 13 games left.

Pride. Passion. Pale ale. Playoffs.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Game 149: Cubs at Pirates

Learned haplessness vs. Liriano at 1:35.

Steelers moved their game to Monday night, which is understandable.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Game 148: Cubs at Pirates

Baker and Cole at 7.

Cole looks primed to drag some guys Committed to Starlin Castro behind the woodshed, where the pistol-whippings should be plentiful.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Game 147: Cubs at Pirates

Charlie Morton and Jake Arrieta tonight at seven as the hapless Cubs try again to go about bunting the right way. The Pirates are tied for first place with 16 games left.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Game 146: Cubs at Pirates

Pirates fans fondly remember the "We Will" marketing theme from a few years back, in which the Pirates promised to do . . . something. We couldn't tell what. The slow reveal teased us for months. Toward the end of the year, we were all smiling and laughing as it rounded into "We Will . . . Entertain!"

The Cubs' are now "Committed," I see on the team website. Committed to what? Good times, no doubt. This team is coming up.

They lack the quality players to upgrade their first- and third-base coaches with the likes of Burnett and Sanchez. They are fresh off a series with the Reds, where they probably picked up some bad habits. (Free Shirt Thursday?)

Rusin and Locke at seven.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Game 145: Pirates at Rangers

Matt Garza and A.J. Burnett starting soon.

In the playoffs, the Bucs will need to exploit every possible psychological advantage they can to win. For example, I'd be entertained if Sofield and Leyva, who my eyes tell me have marginally negative WAR, were replaced with A.J. Burnett and Tony Sanchez. Burnett could shaving cream pie and scream STFD at opponents out on close force plays, while Tony could distract opponents with fist-pumping buffoonery.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Game 144: Pirates at Rangers

Martin Perez and Francisco Liriano tonight at eight in another World Series preview. The winning Bucs are one game back of the Cards, who host the Brewers.

Monday, September 09, 2013

Game 143: Pirates at Rangers

Yu Darvish and Gerrit Cole tonight at eight with 82 and two pennants on the line. Bucs are now 1.5 games back, tied for second place with the Reds, who host the Cubs tonight.

Sunday, September 08, 2013

Saturday, September 07, 2013

Game 141: Pirates at Cardinals

Adam Wainwright and Jeff Locke starting soon with 82 and first place on the line.

Friday, September 06, 2013

Game 140: Pirates at Cardinals

Joe Kelly and A.J. Burnett tonight at 8:15 with 82 and the pennant on the line.

We're just going to stay untucked from here on out.

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Game 139: Pirates at Brewers

Peralta and Liriano tonight with 82 on the line.

Prepare to untuck again.

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Game 138: Pirates at Brewers

Yovani Gallardo and Gerrit Cole tonight at 8:10 with The Streak and The Division on the line.

We will untuck.

Monday, September 02, 2013

Game 137: Pirates at Brewers

Tyler Thornburg and Charlie Morton soon. New fortified PBC starting lineup ready to untuck.

Meanwhile, the Cards are bunting down 4-1 in the third to the Reds.

Sunday, September 01, 2013

Game 136: Cardinals at Pirates

Joe Kelly and Kris Johnson just underway. Buck, Byrd, and Morneau are all starting.

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Game 135: Cardinals at Pirates

We all know this story. Down-on-their-luck small-market team cannot afford to keep its talent. For meager compensation, they trade away their best players to perennial contenders. The poor get poorer, and the rich get richer. The losers keep on losing, and the winners keep on winning. It's a cruel world.

Welcome, Justin Morneau.

The beatings continue with Lynn and Burnett at seven.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Game 132: Brewers at Pirates

Gorzelanny and Morton tonight at seven. Byrd and Buck arrive, already untucked.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Game 131: Brewers at Pirates

These days off ... are not good for my liver.

Looks like it's 5-5 in the seventh. Beer Fort is in Pittsburgh, on the river.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Game 130: Pirates at Giants

Our old friend Ryan "White Flag" Vogelsong takes on A.J. "STFD" Burnett, just underway. Lambo silently waiting to kill and breathing through a reed, below the surface of McCovey Cove in right.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Friday, August 23, 2013

Game 128: Pirates at Giants

You know, the lowly Giants would surely have a better record--and maybe move up a division--if they didn't start their games so late at night.

Morton and Bumgarner, eventually. Hasabata and J Hay are your corner outfielders.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Game 127: Pirates at Giants

West Coast road trip continues with Locke and Cain in the middle of the night.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Game 126: Pirates at Padres

It will be Cole and Kennedy in a twilight singleheader starting in two hours.

Fresh reserves of All Day IPA have arrived.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Game 125: Pirates at Padres

Burnett and Ross in the moonlight. Standing at home plate, Pirates will have Cassiopeia (the "W") above right field.

Beer fort cannons cleaned and stuffed with old Trey Beamon and Angelo Encarnacion files.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Game 124: Pirates at Padres

Cashner and Liriano underway and scoreless after one. Josh Harrison is leading off and starting in RF.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Game 123: Diamondbacks at Pirates

Spent much of last night grinding up old Jose Mesa scorecards, stuffing them into one of the beer fort cannons, and firing them off in the general direction of the river. Beer fort smells like gunpowder but this is more cleansing than burnt sage.

Pirates are second in the league for hitting southpaws. Pedro's not much help here so we'll be looking for Gaby to provide some power.

Miley and Morton soon enough.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Game 122: Diamondbacks at Pirates

Trevor Cahill and Jeff Locke starting soon.

Maybehasabata gets the start in RF while Lambo silently perches in one of LaRoche's old tree stands.

Farnsworth signed

The PBC signs Kyle Farnsworth to help with the September bench-clearing brawls, dog fights, and fan-kicking.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Game 121: Diamondbacks and Pirates

McCarthy and Cole tonight at seven with the playoffs on the line.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Game 120: Pirates at Cardinals

Burnett and Lynn at 1:45pm.

Pirate infield should benefit, defensively, by the daylight. Over/under on first-inning errors behind A.J. adjusted downward to 1/2.

Holliday has painted his segway green and hopes to patrol the outfield on it, inconspicuously.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Game 119: Pirates at Cardinals

Miller and Liriano tonight at 8:15 with the playoffs on the line.

As the rest of the Bucs focus on catching the ball, Lambo will rescue the RISP hostages.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Game 118: Pirates at Cardinals

Wainwright and Morton tonight at 8:15 with the playoffs on the line.

And so began the Andrew Lambo Era.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Lambo on the way

You don't seem to want to accept the fact you're dealing with an expert in guerrilla warfare, with a man who's the best, with guns, with knives, with his bare hands. A man who's been trained to ignore pain, ignore weather, to live off the land, to eat things that would make a billy goat puke. In Vietnam his job was to dispose of enemy personnel. To kill! Period! Win by attrition. I don't think you understand. I didn't come to rescue Lambo from you. I came here to rescue you from him.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Game 117: Pirates at Rockies

Locke vs. Jerome Bettis, Jr. just underway. Pedro just went yard to put the PBC up 1-0.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Game 116: Pirates at Rockies

Burnett and Nicasio at eight.

Rox start the game with the oxygen masks in the dugout, the better to recover from all that running the bases.

Meanwhile the over/under on first-inning errors behind Burnett is 1 1/2.

Friday, August 09, 2013

Game 115: Pirates at Rockies

Liriano and Wild Jorge tonight at 8:40. Bucs are four games up.

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Game 114: Marlins at Pirates

Fernandez and Cole just underway as the PBC goes for the sweep.

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Game 113: Marlins at Pirates

Tom Koehler and Charlie Morton tonight. Win meter humming loudly and emitting brilliant green hue.

Tuesday, August 06, 2013

Game 112: Marlins at Pirates

Henderson Alvarez and Jeff Locke at seven. The first place Bucs are 2 games up, with the Cards bunting on the door.

Monday, August 05, 2013

Off day

Bucs are off today, and will spend their free time practicing how to safely uncork a champagne bottle. Cards host the first-place Dodgers tonight.

Sunday, August 04, 2013

Game 111: Rockies at Pirates

Nicasio and Burnett starting soon. The starting eight will try to forget about all of those shaving cream pies to the face long enough to score a second or third RUN.

Friday, August 02, 2013

Thursday, August 01, 2013

Game 108: Cardinals at Pirates

Morton and Kelly tonight as the best team in baseball attempts the first five-game sweep of the Cardinals since 1916. Beer Fort Pentagon Hovercraft SpacePirateShip propelled by Stargell's ectoplasm and Cumpton's seamen moves in for the kill. Check all stoplights on the Northshore for a sleeping Matheny at the wheel.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Game 107: Cardinals at Pirates

Locke and Wainwright at seven on trade deadline day. The best team in baseball might consider trading away some upside to try to restore parity to the hapless rest of MLB.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Game 105 and 106: Cardinals at Pirates

Burnett and Lynn in game one of the biggest doubleheader ever. First place on the line.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Game 104: Cardinals at Pirates

World Series preview going on right now. Liriano dealing the blows with the grip of his pistol. Cardinals cowering helplessly. Pirates up 4-0 in the top of the fourth.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Game 103: Pirates at Marlins

Cole and Fernandez underway. Bucs up 2-0 as Cutch steals signs from the bench.

Bickle has been put on the 15 day DL, and Tony Sanchez called up.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Game 102: Pirates at Marlins

Morton and Koehler still in with the Bucs up 5-4 in the 5th. Cards lost earlier today, so a win would bring the Bucs to within one and a half games.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Game 101: Pirates at Marlins

Jeff Locke and Henderson Alvarez at seven.

Infielders gently awakened by nubile servants, string quartets, breakfast in bed, etc., etc., courtesy of Locke.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Game 100: Pirates at Nationals

A.J. Burnett will bite the head off the rosin bag.

Gio Gonzalez will start for the Nats at twelve-thirty.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Game 98: Pirates at Nationals

Beer Fort (hovercraft edition) anchored off the coast of Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. We are enjoying this pistol-whipping of the hapless Senators by satellite.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Game 95: Pirates at Reds

Burnett and Latos starting shortly. Burnett needs to step up and inspire the PBC to score a few runs for him today. The usual barking and stomping around doesn't seem to get it done anymore. He needs to up his game with something like biting the head off the rosin bag.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Game 94: Pirates at Reds

Free Shirt Day in Cincy with Leake starting vs. Liriano. It's time to win.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

All-Star Game: Pirates 6, Cardinals 0

Missed the game but heard Pedro hit six dingers and that the Cardinals got shut out.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Game 71: Mets at Pirates

Burnett and it doesn't matter at seven.

Burnett must be stoked to be representing the NL in next week's All-Star Bunt Off.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Game 70: Mets at Pirates

Hefner and Morton. Game underway. Pedro just homered to put the Pirates up 2-0.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Game 69: Athletics at Pirates

Pirates are pacing themselves now. No need to win the division by ten games.

Moore and Liriano at seven.

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Game 68: Athletics at Pirates

Straily and Gerrit Cole at seven in this match-up of first tier teams.

Monday, July 08, 2013

Game 67: Athletics at Pirates

Not starting this on West Coast time, obviously.

Pirates down 2-0 in the seventh.

Sunday, July 07, 2013

Game 66: Pirates at Cubs

Now on their longest losing streak of the season, the Pirates get back stopper and bunting champion A. J. Burnett just in time.

Villanueva will start for the hapless Cubs. Game on at 2:20.

All-Stars

Cutch, Pedro, Grilli, and Locke all made the All-Star Team.

Friday, July 05, 2013

Thursday, July 04, 2013

Game 63: Phillies at Pirates

Happy 4th of July. Beer fort is decked with plenty of patriotic BUNTING.

Heh heh.

Hamels and Cole at one-thirty. Tailgate just underway.

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Game 62: Phillies at Pirates

Pirates getting their second chance to continue their 19 game winning streak.

No score in the third. Lannan and Locke pitching.

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Game 62: Phillies at Pirates

Pirates are going for their 19th straight win tonight as they take on the lower-division Phillies.

Lannan and Cumpton at seven.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Game 61: Brewers at Pirates

Game just underway, no score after 1. Kyle Lohse and Charlie Morton are pitching.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Game 60: Brewers at Pirates

Not even tucking in this morning. More liquid first place on tap as we tailgate (off the hovercraft) for tonight's bender.

Hand and Liriano at seven.

Friday, June 28, 2013

Game 59: Brewers at Pirates

Turtwig vs. Cole at seven.
Brewers praying for rain.

Meadows signs

Ninth overall pick Austin Meadows will sign with the first place PBC today, joining 14th overall pick Reese McGuire, who become BA's #3 and #6 Bucco prospects, respectively. The sudden massive increase in Upside into the new PBC Dynasty has shot the Beer Fort Hovercraft high up into the troposphere.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Game 58: Pirates at Mariners

You don't want to walk and talk about Jeanmar, just want to see his face.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Game 57: Pirates at Mariners

Beer fort (now hovercraft) has made its way up the coast.

Locke and Saunders at ten.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Game 56: Pirates at Angels

Charlie Morton and Joe Blanton at 3:30.

Blanton will be gunning for his 11th loss.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Game 55: Pirates at Angels

Liriano continues the pistol-whipping at ten. Williams will attempt a feeble defense.

Beer fort (now hovercraft) enjoying the Catalina Islands through Monday.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Game 54: Pirates at Angels

Pirates head out to the west coast where they have been, historically, dominant.

I wouldn't be surprised if some of their hapless opponents cancel the game and opt for a scrimmage instead.

Cole and Weaver at 10.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Game 51: Pirates at Reds

After a rare loss, the Pirates return to the Kentucky border at seven. Morton and Latos will start.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Game 50: Pirates at Reds

This glorious season rolls along in Cincinnati tonight, with Liriano starting against the shirtless Leake. At seven.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Game 48: Dodgers at Pirates

The Brandon Cumpton Era starts today against Kershaw and the hapless Dodgers. Cumpton has a strong pedigree, successfully bunting in every third plate appearance for Altoona last year.

The Dodgers start Juan Uribe at 3B, and the Bucs counter with Inge batting 8th starting in RF. Are you not entertained?

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Game 46: Giants at Pirates

Day 2 of the Cole era. Zito and Liriano at seven. Good chance of mojitos and a thunderstorm later today.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Game 45: Giants at Pirates

The Gerrit Cole Era begins tonight, with Cole making his debut against the Freak at seven. Prepare to be entertained.

Many questions about Cole remain, not the least of which is whether young Gerrit can gently yet firmly make contact with his bat on a baseball, driving the baseball into the infield grass while advancing a base runner from station to station.

Sunday, June 09, 2013

Game 44: Pirates at Cubs

Pirates will entertain the small-market fans of Chicago today.

They can expect to see some bunting, some sacrifice flies (unless the wind is blowing out), a HBP or two, and a bunch of strikeouts.

Locke and Jackson at 2.

Saturday, June 08, 2013

Game 43: Pirates at Cubs

Burnett and Samardzija today.

We missed the win yesterday, after waking up late covered in Upside. Here in the Beer Fort War Room, Rowdy is on the top of our board.

Thursday, June 06, 2013

Draft

The PBC drafted three high schoolers: OF Austin Meadows at #9, C Reese McGuire at #14 and LHP Blake Taylor at #51. Not sure the Beer Fort has ever seen this much Upside. Wonder how far these three kids could carry a telephone pole.

Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Off day

Just a meaningless scrimmage today as the Bucs rest up for the playoffs.

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Game 41: Pirates at Braves

Locke vs. Minor and likely some vicious, gladiator-style umpiring.

Monday, June 03, 2013

Sunday, June 02, 2013

Game 40: Reds at Pirates

You don't want to walk and talk about Jeanmar, just want to see his face.

Saturday, June 01, 2013

Game 40: Reds at Pirates

Bucs return to real game action tonight after yesterday's successful hypnosis practice and scrimmage. Liriano and Leake at seven.

Friday, May 31, 2013

Game 40: Reds at Pirates

Wandy and Cueto at seven with the playoffs on the line.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Game 39: Tigers at Pirates

The home-and-home with the not-so-hapless Tigers ends this day.

Fister and the surprising Locke will start. Game on at seven.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Game 38: Tigers at Pirates

A.J. Burnett and Anibal Sanchez tonight at seven. Bringing the series back to PNC negates the Designated Bunter advantage, but the white-hot PBC needs no such crutch.

The Beer-Fort-on-Wheels slowly started speeding up last week, but now it's hard not to notice the rapidly increasing speed. Might be best to just hold on tight for now, even if untucked.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Game 36: Pirates at Tigers

Once again the beer fort TV gets turned on to find the World Champion PBC winning another game. This time, they're up 1-0 after three as Liriano battles Verlander in a likely All Star Game and World Series preview.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Game 35: Pirates at Brewers

4 o'clock and we just woke up here in the beer fort after a rowdy evening of untuckedness. Game is already in the fifth inning. I don't know how the players do it. Pirates are up but the Brewers have the bases loaded.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Game 34: Pirates at Brewers

Bucs up 4-0 as Locke continues his Cy Young campaign in the fourth. Cutch, Petey, and Walker have all went yard. Prepare to untuck.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Game 33: Pirates at Brewers

Burnett and Estrada at seven.

Expect vicious bunting followed by untuckiness.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Game 32: Cubs at Pirates

Gomez and Jackson starting soon. Pretty sure this is a real game and not a scrimmage.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Game 31: Cubs at Pirates

Liriano and Samardzija at seven. The Bucs' magic number for a playoff bye is down to three.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Game 30: Cubs at Pirates

At seven it will be Garza and Wandy.
The Pirates are 26-4 and definitely in first place.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Game 29: Astros at Pirates

Locke and Harrell scoreless after one. Benny Hill music off so far.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Game 28: Astros at Pirates

Burnett, Bedard, and the Astros' Benny Hill music starts at seven.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Game 27: Astros at Pirates

Jordan Lyles serves up taters, show starts at seven. Is this not why you are here?

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Monday, May 13, 2013

Game 23: Brewers at Pirates

Pirates start a long homestand with the Brewers.

American Craft Beer week is a Mardi Gras here at the beer fort with parades, bead necklaces, music, nudity, indecency, etc.


Estrada and Burnett at seven.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Game 22: Pirates at Mets

Bucs up 2-1 in the fifth as they try to win one for Mrs. Nutting. The big and powerful Jordy Mercer is 0-for-2 batting fifth.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Game 21: Pirates at Mets

Another real game today with the Bucs up 4-0 in the third. And so began the Francisco Liriano Era.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Game 20: Pirates at Mets

Game on. Pirates up 3-0 in the fourth. The white-hot Pedro has gone many consecutive at-bats without striking out.

Thursday, May 09, 2013

Off day

No real game today, just a normal batting practice with Pedro hitting dingers and everyone else bunting.

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Game 18: Seahawks at Pirates

Game on. Harangue and Gomez, who is standing up pretty straight so far.

Saturday, May 04, 2013

Game 16: Nationals at Pirates

Locke and Strasburg underway now. Marte HBP starts it off for the Bucs.

Friday, May 03, 2013

Game 15: Nationals at Pirates

The 16-2 Pirates are looking for their seventeenth win here in game 15. (I'm a little confused about the new way they count wins, but get that it has something to do with HBP and sacrifice hits.)

Game underway just now. Detwiler and Burnett are the starters. Beer fort amply supplied with bourbon.

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

Game 14: Bucs 6, Brewers 4

All hail a four run eighth inning comeback! Bucs have won six in a row.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Off day

Batting practice and home run derby today, with games that count possibly starting tomorrow.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Sunday (edit: Game 12)

Not clear yet whether today will bring a scrimmage or a real game, but either way Cutch will rest on the bench and practice stealing signs.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Game 11: Pirates at Cardinals

Bucs up 3-2 in the seventh with the bases juiced for Jonezilla.

Jonathan Sanchez has been suspended by MLB for six games. No word yet on whether the Bucs will appeal for a longer sentence.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Off day

Looks like another scrimmage, this time in advance of the weekend games. Sort of like the home run derby. It will probably be televised around 8pm.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Game 10: Pirates Win

With the bonus wins for winning the series, I figure the Pirates record now stands at 9-1.

Must be an off day coming up soon--they have been on a pretty torrid tear through the lower divisions.

The hapless Cardinals are next.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Game 7: Pirates at Phillies

As expected, the Pirates are moving through the league like a hot knife through butter.

Rodriguez and Halladay before too long now.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Game 6: Pirates at Phillies

Tough loss last night; Pirates are what, 5-1 now?

Locke and Hamels just getting going.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Game 5: Pirates at Phillies

Pirates head out on the road to wreak havoc in Philadelphia.

Burnett and Pettibone at seven.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Game 4: Braves at Pirates

Maholm and McDonald at seven.

Beer fort recently stocked with Burton Baton. We are ready for anything.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Opening Day: Cardinals at Pirates

Meaningful baseball at long last! huzzah

A. J. Burnett is shutting down the Cardinals.

Pirates will be teeing off Shelby Miller before too long.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Off day

Might be a scrimmage or something.

Hang in there.

Season should start pretty soon. I'm looking forward to it.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Game 12: Reds at Pirates

Bucs down 2-0 in the second. I'd be entertained if Phil Irwin mixed in the eephus along with his filthy curve.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Game 9: Pirates at Diamondbacks

Cactus League action continues. When will this meaningless west coast road trip end.

D'backs lead the league in sacrifice flies and are tied for fourth in bunts. Good thing these games don't count.

Tuesday, April 09, 2013

Game 8: Pirates at Diamondbacks

Bucs up 6-4 in the top of the seventh, thanks to a buntless 5(!) run fourth inning.

Game 7: Pirates at Diamondbacks

Zoltan's return has lifted the Bucs up 4-3 after seven. Pedro drew his first walk but Wandy left in the third with a tight hammy.

Sunday, April 07, 2013

Game 6: Pirates at Dodgers

Locke and Ryu starting soon. Iron Balls, Tabata, and McDonald all starting, so bench is stacked with pinch-bunters.

Saturday, April 06, 2013

Game 5: Pirates at Dodgers

Exhibition season continues as the Pirates play again in Los Angeles.

Kershaw and Burnett to start.

Friday, April 05, 2013

Game 4: Pirates at Dodgers

Bucs have one hit off Greinke as they trail 3-0 in the bottom of the sixth. Jonathan Sanchez is getting into trouble and seems to want him some whipping post. Russell Martin batting fifth for the Bucs. Meanwhile, Xavier Paul hits a pinch-hit grand slam as the Reds crush Zach Duke and the Nats 15-0.

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Game 2: Cubs at Pirates

BUNT ---> Win. Bucs went about their business and played the game the right way today.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

2013 HW Readers Poll

It's that time of year again.

1. How many wins?
2. How many bunts?
3. 2013 Whipping Boy?
4. Other predictions?

I'll start: 81, 81, Jonathan Sanchez. Travis Snider fractures skull in freak bunting incident, Jose Tabata converted to reliever, John McDonald starting at 1B and batting fourth by June, Wandy wins 17, and Iron Balls is World Series MVP and stands in the lead limo during the World Series parade.

Game 1: Cubs at Pirates

No bunts, no victory.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Champions

Bucs are in first place in Spring Training, bunting circles around lesser teams like the Red Sox and Yankees who are still laughably buntless.

It's been so long since real games that even the MVP doesn't remember the glory of winning the 2012 World Championship.

Thursday, March 07, 2013

Grilli

Jason Grilli is on the TV throwing beanballs for some Italian team.

Saturday, March 02, 2013

Pirate sighting

In the delirium of my hard and lonely existence in the beer fort, I saw the Pirates playing baseball last night on the television.

Incredible I know. Difficult to believe at the time. And harder to believe this morning. Was last year not the season to end all seasons?

Will they keep playing for some reason?

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Spring Training

No bunts yet, but the Bucs win big in their first Spring Training game.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Hot stove

Cole on trying not to bunt his eye out:

MiLB.com: Being on a National League club, you got a couple at-bats this season. How good are you with the bat?

Cole: (Laughs.) Oh, I'm about as good as any random person would be. We work on getting bunts down, but that's about it. My priority at the plate is getting a bunt down and not getting hurt.

In other news, Cutch does Cruise.