Game 159: Pirates at Cubs

Liriano and Arrieta, soon.

Plenty of leftover fried horse here.

Game 158: Pirates at Cubs

Rusin and Cole tonight at eight. Bucs are two games back with five games left.

Untucked and still not wearing goggles deep in the Beer Fort, we're sharpening more weapons.

Game 157: Pirates at Cubs

Morton and Samardzija on Chicago time.

Tonight we are boiling horses in the many vats of boiling oil raging above the portcullis of the beer fort. That and we are sharpening weapons.

Game 156: Reds at Pirates

Arroyo and Locke in an hour.

Pirates are two games back of the Cardinals with seven games to play.

Game 155: Reds at Pirates

Bailey and Burnett before long.

We are deep-frying a turkey vulture in the pot of boiling oil we keep above the beer fort portcullis.

Barely remember last night's entertainment. Medicating.

Game 154: Reds at Pirates

Latos and Liriano in a little bit.

We are deep-frying a turkey in the pot of boiling oil we keep above the beer fort portcullis. Still heavily entertained from last night's action. Ready for more.

Game 153: Padres at Pirates

Cole and Kennedy underway. Petey just went yard in the 4th to put the PBC up 2-1.

There's a lot of empty seats here in the Beer Fort. With only ten games left and two games back, a WIN would help.

Game 152: Padres at Pirates

Morton and Ross tonight at seven.

The Bucs are one game back of the Cards with 11 games left, which is a longer way of saying now is the time to WIN.

Game 151: Padres at Pirates

Stults and Locke at 7.

After last night's loss, I am expecting renewed enthusiasm and prowess at bunting and defensive shifts.

Game 150: Padres at Pirates

Burnett and Cashner tonight at seven. Bucs magic number is 6 with 13 games left.

Pride. Passion. Pale ale. Playoffs.

Game 149: Cubs at Pirates

Learned haplessness vs. Liriano at 1:35.

Steelers moved their game to Monday night, which is understandable.

Game 148: Cubs at Pirates

Baker and Cole at 7.

Cole looks primed to drag some guys Committed to Starlin Castro behind the woodshed, where the pistol-whippings should be plentiful.

Game 147: Cubs at Pirates

Charlie Morton and Jake Arrieta tonight at seven as the hapless Cubs try again to go about bunting the right way. The Pirates are tied for first place with 16 games left.

Game 146: Cubs at Pirates

Pirates fans fondly remember the "We Will" marketing theme from a few years back, in which the Pirates promised to do . . . something. We couldn't tell what. The slow reveal teased us for months. Toward the end of the year, we were all smiling and laughing as it rounded into "We Will . . . Entertain!"

The Cubs' are now "Committed," I see on the team website. Committed to what? Good times, no doubt. This team is coming up.

They lack the quality players to upgrade their first- and third-base coaches with the likes of Burnett and Sanchez. They are fresh off a series with the Reds, where they probably picked up some bad habits. (Free Shirt Thursday?)

Rusin and Locke at seven.

Game 145: Pirates at Rangers

Matt Garza and A.J. Burnett starting soon.

In the playoffs, the Bucs will need to exploit every possible psychological advantage they can to win. For example, I'd be entertained if Sofield and Leyva, who my eyes tell me have marginally negative WAR, were replaced with A.J. Burnett and Tony Sanchez. Burnett could shaving cream pie and scream STFD at opponents out on close force plays, while Tony could distract opponents with fist-pumping buffoonery.

Game 144: Pirates at Rangers

Martin Perez and Francisco Liriano tonight at eight in another World Series preview. The winning Bucs are one game back of the Cards, who host the Brewers.

Game 143: Pirates at Rangers

Yu Darvish and Gerrit Cole tonight at eight with 82 and two pennants on the line. Bucs are now 1.5 games back, tied for second place with the Reds, who host the Cubs tonight.

Game 142: Pirates at Cardinals

Morton and Wacha at two. The NFL must be hurting to see this game against week 1 NFL action.

NFL week 1: Titans at Steelers

Steelers better put this one away before 2pm.

Game 141: Pirates at Cardinals

Adam Wainwright and Jeff Locke starting soon with 82 and first place on the line.

Game 140: Pirates at Cardinals

Joe Kelly and A.J. Burnett tonight at 8:15 with 82 and the pennant on the line.

We're just going to stay untucked from here on out.

Game 139: Pirates at Brewers

Peralta and Liriano tonight with 82 on the line.

Prepare to untuck again.

Game 138: Pirates at Brewers

Yovani Gallardo and Gerrit Cole tonight at 8:10 with The Streak and The Division on the line.

We will untuck.

Game 137: Pirates at Brewers

Tyler Thornburg and Charlie Morton soon. New fortified PBC starting lineup ready to untuck.

Meanwhile, the Cards are bunting down 4-1 in the third to the Reds.

Game 136: Cardinals at Pirates

Joe Kelly and Kris Johnson just underway. Buck, Byrd, and Morneau are all starting.

Game 135: Cardinals at Pirates

We all know this story. Down-on-their-luck small-market team cannot afford to keep its talent. For meager compensation, they trade away their best players to perennial contenders. The poor get poorer, and the rich get richer. The losers keep on losing, and the winners keep on winning. It's a cruel world.

Welcome, Justin Morneau.

The beatings continue with Lynn and Burnett at seven.

Game 134: Cardinals at Pirates

More World Series preview at seven. Miller and Liriano to deal.

Game 133: Brewers at Pirates

Gallardo vs. Cole tonight at seven. Prepare to untuck.

Game 132: Brewers at Pirates

Gorzelanny and Morton tonight at seven. Byrd and Buck arrive, already untucked.

Game 131: Brewers at Pirates

These days off ... are not good for my liver.

Looks like it's 5-5 in the seventh. Beer Fort is in Pittsburgh, on the river.

Game 130: Pirates at Giants

Our old friend Ryan "White Flag" Vogelsong takes on A.J. "STFD" Burnett, just underway. Lambo silently waiting to kill and breathing through a reed, below the surface of McCovey Cove in right.

Game 129: Pirates at Giants

Liriano and Lincecum a little earlier -- 9pm.

Game 128: Pirates at Giants

You know, the lowly Giants would surely have a better record--and maybe move up a division--if they didn't start their games so late at night.

Morton and Bumgarner, eventually. Hasabata and J Hay are your corner outfielders.

Game 127: Pirates at Giants

West Coast road trip continues with Locke and Cain in the middle of the night.

Game 126: Pirates at Padres

It will be Cole and Kennedy in a twilight singleheader starting in two hours.

Fresh reserves of All Day IPA have arrived.

Game 125: Pirates at Padres

Burnett and Ross in the moonlight. Standing at home plate, Pirates will have Cassiopeia (the "W") above right field.

Beer fort cannons cleaned and stuffed with old Trey Beamon and Angelo Encarnacion files.

Game 124: Pirates at Padres

Cashner and Liriano underway and scoreless after one. Josh Harrison is leading off and starting in RF.

Game 123: Diamondbacks at Pirates

Spent much of last night grinding up old Jose Mesa scorecards, stuffing them into one of the beer fort cannons, and firing them off in the general direction of the river. Beer fort smells like gunpowder but this is more cleansing than burnt sage.

Pirates are second in the league for hitting southpaws. Pedro's not much help here so we'll be looking for Gaby to provide some power.

Miley and Morton soon enough.

Game 122: Diamondbacks at Pirates

Trevor Cahill and Jeff Locke starting soon.

Maybehasabata gets the start in RF while Lambo silently perches in one of LaRoche's old tree stands.

Farnsworth signed

The PBC signs Kyle Farnsworth to help with the September bench-clearing brawls, dog fights, and fan-kicking.

Game 121: Diamondbacks and Pirates

McCarthy and Cole tonight at seven with the playoffs on the line.

Game 120: Pirates at Cardinals

Burnett and Lynn at 1:45pm.

Pirate infield should benefit, defensively, by the daylight. Over/under on first-inning errors behind A.J. adjusted downward to 1/2.

Holliday has painted his segway green and hopes to patrol the outfield on it, inconspicuously.

Game 119: Pirates at Cardinals

Miller and Liriano tonight at 8:15 with the playoffs on the line.

As the rest of the Bucs focus on catching the ball, Lambo will rescue the RISP hostages.

Game 118: Pirates at Cardinals

Wainwright and Morton tonight at 8:15 with the playoffs on the line.

And so began the Andrew Lambo Era.

Lambo on the way

You don't seem to want to accept the fact you're dealing with an expert in guerrilla warfare, with a man who's the best, with guns, with knives, with his bare hands. A man who's been trained to ignore pain, ignore weather, to live off the land, to eat things that would make a billy goat puke. In Vietnam his job was to dispose of enemy personnel. To kill! Period! Win by attrition. I don't think you understand. I didn't come to rescue Lambo from you. I came here to rescue you from him.

Game 117: Pirates at Rockies

Locke vs. Jerome Bettis, Jr. just underway. Pedro just went yard to put the PBC up 1-0.

Game 116: Pirates at Rockies

Burnett and Nicasio at eight.

Rox start the game with the oxygen masks in the dugout, the better to recover from all that running the bases.

Meanwhile the over/under on first-inning errors behind Burnett is 1 1/2.

Game 115: Pirates at Rockies

Liriano and Wild Jorge tonight at 8:40. Bucs are four games up.

Game 114: Marlins at Pirates

Fernandez and Cole just underway as the PBC goes for the sweep.

Game 113: Marlins at Pirates

Tom Koehler and Charlie Morton tonight. Win meter humming loudly and emitting brilliant green hue.

Game 112: Marlins at Pirates

Henderson Alvarez and Jeff Locke at seven. The first place Bucs are 2 games up, with the Cards bunting on the door.

Off day

Bucs are off today, and will spend their free time practicing how to safely uncork a champagne bottle. Cards host the first-place Dodgers tonight.

Game 111: Rockies at Pirates

Nicasio and Burnett starting soon. The starting eight will try to forget about all of those shaving cream pies to the face long enough to score a second or third RUN.

Game 110: Rockies at Pirates

De Le Rosa and Liriano at seven.

Game 109: Rockies at Pirates

Cole vs. Shawn Chacon tonight. Still in first place.

Game 108: Cardinals at Pirates

Morton and Kelly tonight as the best team in baseball attempts the first five-game sweep of the Cardinals since 1916. Beer Fort Pentagon Hovercraft SpacePirateShip propelled by Stargell's ectoplasm and Cumpton's seamen moves in for the kill. Check all stoplights on the Northshore for a sleeping Matheny at the wheel.

Game 107: Cardinals at Pirates

Locke and Wainwright at seven on trade deadline day. The best team in baseball might consider trading away some upside to try to restore parity to the hapless rest of MLB.

Game 105 and 106: Cardinals at Pirates

Burnett and Lynn in game one of the biggest doubleheader ever. First place on the line.

Game 104: Cardinals at Pirates

World Series preview going on right now. Liriano dealing the blows with the grip of his pistol. Cardinals cowering helplessly. Pirates up 4-0 in the top of the fourth.

Game 103: Pirates at Marlins

Cole and Fernandez underway. Bucs up 2-0 as Cutch steals signs from the bench.

Bickle has been put on the 15 day DL, and Tony Sanchez called up.

Game 102: Pirates at Marlins

Morton and Koehler still in with the Bucs up 5-4 in the 5th. Cards lost earlier today, so a win would bring the Bucs to within one and a half games.

Game 101: Pirates at Marlins

Jeff Locke and Henderson Alvarez at seven.

Infielders gently awakened by nubile servants, string quartets, breakfast in bed, etc., etc., courtesy of Locke.

Game 100: Pirates at Nationals

A.J. Burnett will bite the head off the rosin bag.

Gio Gonzalez will start for the Nats at twelve-thirty.

Game 99: Pirates at Nationals

Liriano and Strasburg. Just underway.

Game 98: Pirates at Nationals

Beer Fort (hovercraft edition) anchored off the coast of Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. We are enjoying this pistol-whipping of the hapless Senators by satellite.

Game 97: Pirates at Nationals

Morton and Haren in one hour.

Game 96: Pirates at Reds

Bailey and Locke starting soon.

Game 95: Pirates at Reds

Burnett and Latos starting shortly. Burnett needs to step up and inspire the PBC to score a few runs for him today. The usual barking and stomping around doesn't seem to get it done anymore. He needs to up his game with something like biting the head off the rosin bag.

Game 94: Pirates at Reds

Free Shirt Day in Cincy with Leake starting vs. Liriano. It's time to win.

SI Covers: Pirates 1, Cardinals 0

The Playoff-Bound Pirates and Their Sharknado Bullpen.

All-Star Game: Pirates 6, Cardinals 0

Missed the game but heard Pedro hit six dingers and that the Cardinals got shut out.

Off day

Might be a home run derby or something like that.

Game 72: Mets at Pirates

Gee and Cole soon.

Game 71: Mets at Pirates

Burnett and it doesn't matter at seven.

Burnett must be stoked to be representing the NL in next week's All-Star Bunt Off.

Game 70: Mets at Pirates

Hefner and Morton. Game underway. Pedro just homered to put the Pirates up 2-0.

Game 69: Athletics at Pirates

Pirates are pacing themselves now. No need to win the division by ten games.

Moore and Liriano at seven.

Game 68: Athletics at Pirates

Straily and Gerrit Cole at seven in this match-up of first tier teams.

Game 67: Athletics at Pirates

Not starting this on West Coast time, obviously.

Pirates down 2-0 in the seventh.

Game 66: Pirates at Cubs

Now on their longest losing streak of the season, the Pirates get back stopper and bunting champion A. J. Burnett just in time.

Villanueva will start for the hapless Cubs. Game on at 2:20.

All-Stars

Cutch, Pedro, Grilli, and Locke all made the All-Star Team.

Game 65: Pirates at Cubs

Morton and Jackson at 4.

Game 64: Pirates at Cubs

Liriano and the best team in baseball take on Samardzija and the hapless Cubs at four.

Pops is back

Stargell ectoplasm propels the Pirates, writes Spike Vrusho.

Game 63: Phillies at Pirates

Happy 4th of July. Beer fort is decked with plenty of patriotic BUNTING.

Heh heh.

Hamels and Cole at one-thirty. Tailgate just underway.

Game 62: Phillies at Pirates

Pirates getting their second chance to continue their 19 game winning streak.

No score in the third. Lannan and Locke pitching.

Game 62: Phillies at Pirates

Pirates are going for their 19th straight win tonight as they take on the lower-division Phillies.

Lannan and Cumpton at seven.

Game 61: Brewers at Pirates

Game just underway, no score after 1. Kyle Lohse and Charlie Morton are pitching.

Game 60: Brewers at Pirates

Not even tucking in this morning. More liquid first place on tap as we tailgate (off the hovercraft) for tonight's bender.

Hand and Liriano at seven.

Game 59: Brewers at Pirates

Turtwig vs. Cole at seven.
Brewers praying for rain.

Meadows signs

Ninth overall pick Austin Meadows will sign with the first place PBC today, joining 14th overall pick Reese McGuire, who become BA's #3 and #6 Bucco prospects, respectively. The sudden massive increase in Upside into the new PBC Dynasty has shot the Beer Fort Hovercraft high up into the troposphere.

Game 58: Pirates at Mariners

You don't want to walk and talk about Jeanmar, just want to see his face.

Game 57: Pirates at Mariners

Beer fort (now hovercraft) has made its way up the coast.

Locke and Saunders at ten.

Game 56: Pirates at Angels

Charlie Morton and Joe Blanton at 3:30.

Blanton will be gunning for his 11th loss.

Game 55: Pirates at Angels

Liriano continues the pistol-whipping at ten. Williams will attempt a feeble defense.

Beer fort (now hovercraft) enjoying the Catalina Islands through Monday.

Game 54: Pirates at Angels

Pirates head out to the west coast where they have been, historically, dominant.

I wouldn't be surprised if some of their hapless opponents cancel the game and opt for a scrimmage instead.

Cole and Weaver at 10.

Game 53: Pirates at Reds

Cumpton vs. Bailey and Jerry Meals, just underway.

Game 52: Pirates at Reds

Game on.

Game 51: Pirates at Reds

After a rare loss, the Pirates return to the Kentucky border at seven. Morton and Latos will start.

Game 50: Pirates at Reds

This glorious season rolls along in Cincinnati tonight, with Liriano starting against the shirtless Leake. At seven.

Game 49: Dodgers at Pirates

Greinke and the Gerrit Cole Era in about an hour.