Captain America

Don't miss today's work from the illustrious John Perrotto. It's only February and he's in mid-season form.

Good snark in this essay. For one, I'm not certain he writes his own headlines, but he gets a fork in with today's regardless, recalling bad mid-1980s Van Halen while insinuating that the GM has a man-crush on Eric Byrnes. And for two, the last line of this paragraph is classic:

Byrnes has been a rather anonymous player in Oakland the past five seasons while such stars as Jason Giambi, Miguel Tejada, Eric Chavez and the Big Three of Tim Hudson, Mark Mulder and Barry Zito were helping the Athletics blow holes in a theory that Pirates' ownership seems to cling to - low-revenue teams can't compete for or win division titles. Oakland has done it without even having a new stadium paid for primarily with tax money.

Perrotto's wry humor is much appreciated here at the junto. There's nothing worse than humorless sports journalism. So put a little Bailey's in that coffee and all hail John Perrotto.

As always, I learn something new from Perrott. If I ever knew this, I forgot it long ago:

Pirates General Manager Dave Littlefield has been calling his Oakland counterpart, Billy Beane, on a daily basis in an attempt to make his second trade in four months with the man who tried to hire him as the Athletics' assistant GM five years ago. Littlefield remained in his job as Florida's assistant GM before coming the Pirates in 2001 but he and Beane have always been able to have an easy dialogue.

I didn't know Beane courted Littlefield back in 2001. The massive criticism of Littlefield from the Heathers of Sabermetric High might lead one to believe he graduated from cross-town rival Australopithecus Vo-Tech.

To get back to all that really matters. Perrotto on Byrnes:

More than anything, Byrnes is known for his entertaining style of play. One scout who has watched him frequently says "he does everything at full speed all the time and throws his body around like he's a crash-test dummy."

Byrnes regularly plays winter ball in the Dominican Republic and his hard-charging ways have earned him the nickname of "Captain America" from fans on that island nation. His production is strong enough that it would bolster a batting order than falls off sharply after the top four of Matt Lawton, Jack Wilson, Bay and Craig Wilson.

In the end, Perrotto endorses the pursuit of Captain America:

Littlefield should continue his pursuit of Byrnes. With the hopes of trading for Cincinnati's Austin Kearns or Tampa Bay's Aubrey Huff unrealistic, the list of available outfielders is slim with the New York Mets' Mike Cameron and Washington's Terrmel Sledge the names most prominently mentioned.

Cameron is a fine defensive center fielder and coming off a 30-homer, 22-steal season. Cameron, though, has the same shortcomings as many other Pirates' hitters. He doesn't get on base enough and strikes out too much. Now 32, it's doubtful he is going to improve in those areas.

Sledge had a decent rookie season last year, hitting .269 with 15 homers and 62 RBIs in 133 games but he turns 28 next month, leaving him with little upside.

Byrnes clearly is the best option, which means Beane can keep expecting daily phone calls from Littlefield.

Hear hear. Kearns must be unavailable for many reasons, Huff is not a perfect fit, Cameron carries a ludicrous contract, and Sledge reminds me of J.J. Davis. I would trade mad pitching prospects for Byrnes. We all know that a Byrnes in the hand is worth two in the bush leagues.

But thank God I'm not the GM. I wear my heart on my sleeve, man, I know that. I have no kind of poker face. I routinely pull the trigger on roto trades before the talks fully mature. Since I'm bullish on the Bucs' chances this year, and doubtful that 2006 holds greater promise at this point, I'd deal some of those young arms. And Freddy Sanchez. I'd trade him too. Hell, trade everybody. That's my philosophy.

But a Byrnes trade can wait. We have a number of guys who could make it seem less necessary. Maybe Ben Grieve, Daryle Ward, Tike Redman, Rob Mackowiak, or one of the Indy Indian crew will play like a man possessed in March. Littlefield can wait if Beane's trade demands include more than he wants to deal. If an injury to the Oakland outfield rules out trading Byrnes, so might some other combination of circumstances make other players available.

Necessity never made a good bargain.