Roast him while we got him

If it weren't for Randall Simon, we wouldn't have editorials such as this one by the PG's Gene Collier. This is a lot of fun and brings to mind plenty of similar poor-taste games Bones and I played back in the day. Here's a sample:

Simon has none of that Draft Day commodity they call upside. He's got tremendous downside due in part to a considerable backside. Not only can't Randall hit (.206 with no homers before the rainout at Texas last night), but it's long since reached the point where you even want him to get a hit, because it only clogs the basepaths like a tunnel smashup at rush hour. As the locals lament, "Ain't nobody gon' nowheres."

Watching Simon run calls to mind the final days of Willie Stargell. Not September '82, the final days of Stargell's career; I mean April, 2001, the final days of his life.

Check out the whole thing, there's plenty more laughs to be had at Simon's expense. The rest of Collier's "BackDraft" is debatable, but he makes a good case for his selections.