(Scene: the unemployment line. A content Jim Tracy and his staff stand in place.)
T-bone (holding Post-Gazette): Trace, Dejan wrote a long piece about you today.
Tracy: Is the manager of the 2004 NL West Champions intrigued? Yes.
T-bone (skimming aloud):
Before Tracy had donned a Pirates uniform, in the winter of 2006, he met with center fielder Chris Duffy and told Duffy he should play like Dave Roberts, the Dodgers' leadoff man ... Tracy told shortstop Jack Wilson, a three-time runner-up for the Gold Glove, that he did not like his approach to ground balls, that it should be more like Cesar Izturis of the 2004 Dodgers ... Jose Castillo was told to be like Adrian Beltre. Bench players were told to be versatile like Jose Hernandez, who also was acquired.Manto: That's pretty messed up. Your obsession with the '04 Dodgers seems hurtful and kind of pathological. Is this why you always tell me to look and act like Tim Wallach?
Tracy: Look, Tim, is it wrong for a man to project the greatness of a division champion onto a group of lesser men in hopes that the latter would in essence realize that projection? No.
Cox (laughing): And then Ronny says to me "Coach, I don't practice catching throws from the outfield?" And I say "Ronny, I need to know these things."
T-bone (reading aloud): Paulino never was seen addressing that play in an on-field workout all summer.
Colborn: Damn, Ronny dropped a lot of balls.
Tracy: Lo Duca had only three errors all year.
Cuellar: Look, DL is way the hell up there in line! Man, he looks tired, like he's been standing for awhile.
Tracy (smiling): Our general manager was terrific. (Cranes his neck and spots DL far off in the distance) They should get him a chair. If our GM stands too long, you take the legs away from him, and in essence you've lost the GM.