Inspired by our new motto and the newfound realization that "We are trying to be the benchmark in the sports industry in everything we do -- whether it's the grounds crew or whether it's ticket sales or whether it's marketing," I've raised the bar considerably in my expectations for 2006. I go so far as to ask you, fellow Pirates fans, to raise the bar too and voice your demands to the grounds crew, ticket office, and marketing people so they can get to work WILLing our demands to happen.
1. What can the grounds crew do for you, as a fan, to better your whole Pirates experience?
2. What kind of marketing gimmicks would convince you to buy more tickets and enhance your ballpark fun?
Again, I'll start:
1. First off, the grounds crew better damn well be prepared to bust their asses this year. After all this hype, I want to see them do backflips while running out to unroll the tarp. Plus I'd like some gimmicky lawn art, maybe with the new goofy mascot's face on the infield grass and the beatific visage of Jason Bay on the outfield lawn.
2. Again, primed by all this hype, I'm ready to bust marketing's chops all year long. Especially now that Wiggy's no longer around to bowl people over. I hereby demand a third mascot. And bullpen karaoke. And clowns, with laserbeams attached to their heads. Did I f---ing stutter?
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