Game 14: Cubs at Pirates

The Vanimal takes on Hammel, starting soon.

Game 13: Cubs at Pirates

Liriano and Wood underway. Bucs are down 3-2 after four and a half.

Game 12: Cubs at Pirates

Burnett and his astronomical SCPITFORP (Shaving Cream Pies In The Face Over Replacement Player) will try to move runners from station to station with the game's most exciting play, the sacrifice bunt.

Meanwhile, the hapless Cubs start a bunch of kids whose names I don't recognize.

Game 11: Brewers at Pirates

Cole and Garza, underway.

Still untucked from last night's Marte Partay.

Game 10: Brewers at Pirates

These meaningless Spring Training games must end pretty soon.

Meanwhile, Nelson and Locke at 7. Untuckery at 9.

Game 9: Tigers at Pirates

Liriano takes on Randall Simon tonight.

The PBC are 2 games out of first place.

Game 8: Tigers at Pirates

Burnett and Greene, starting soon.

Rajai Davis is leading off for the hapless Tigers.

Game 7: Tigers at Pirates

Home Opener today features Cole taking on Anibal the Cannibal and the Tigers.

The Tigers are 6-0, so their odds of winning another consecutive baseball game are approaching zero.

Game 6: Pirates at Brewers

Sadler and Lohse.

The Pirates will start another long winning streak at two.

Game 5: Pirates at Brewers

The Pirates continue their winning streak against the winless Brewers tonight.

Worley and Jimmy Nelson will start. Game on around 7. Untucking by 9.

Game 4: Pirates at Brewers

Locke takes on Fiers and the hapless, winless, 0-3 Brewers. Game starts soon.

Game 3: Pirates at Reds

Burnett got the bunt down, without injury or incident.

Game 2: Pirates at Reds

Free T-shirt Night as Cole takes on Leake.

Game 1: Pirates at Reds

Cueto and Liriano, starting soon.

2015 HW Readers' Poll

After a long relaxing off season in the Beer Fort Dandy House, it is prediction time again.

1. How many wins for the 2015 Bucs?
2. On what day will the Bucs clinch the NL Central?
3. Which Bucco will be the World Series MVP?
4. 2015 Whipping Boy?
5. Other predictions?

I'll start:
1. 94
2. September 22nd
3. Polanco
4. Kang, who will later reveal he injured himself carrying a dead deer up a steep flight of stairs
5. New defensive shift where Sean Rodriguez stands halfway up third base line then as ball is thrown, runs and dives in front of batter to deflect liners. LaFramboise converted to 1B. Bastardo fisticuffs. Tony Sanchez acts like fool during post-World Series White House visit.

Spring training

It's going on right now.

Pirates are quickly returning to dynasty shape.

CHAMPS!

Congratulations to the 2014 World Champion Pittsburgh Pirates!

Here in the Beer Fort we will stay untucked all offseason. We now turn to cheering the Steelers on to another consecutive Super Bowl Championship.

World Series Game 4: Royals at Pirates

Game on. It is quite a scene in PNC Park. The first 40,000 fans were given champagne goggles. The Pirates have taken the field, untucked and in champagne goggles. Even the umpires are wearing champagne goggles.

Pirates up 4-0 on that inside-the-park bunt home run.

World Series Game 3: Royals at Pirates

Up 2-0 after that 21-run win, people are wondering if it possible for the Pirates to sweep this series in only three games.

Game underway. No score, but the Pirates are threatening. Vanimal and Guthrie are the starters. Vanimal pitching in prescription champagne goggles.

World Series Game 2: Pirates at Royals

Game on, and the Pirates are up 3-0 after Cole's stupendously placed 3-RBI bunt.

Untucking in the Beer Fort. The sweep feels inevitable.

World Series Game 1: Pirates at Royals

Liriano and Shields tonight at 8.

In a bizarre PR move, the Bucs have added Manny Sanguillen to the World Series roster, who will serve up barbecue to the players in the dugout.

It appears the PBC will not be wearing champagne goggles for Game 1.

NLCS Game 4: Cardinals at Pirates

The Pirates look to close out this sweep tonight at home. The untucked Pirates, anticipating another steamrolling of the hapless Cardinals, will play the game in champagne goggles.

Several layers of decorative bunting adorn the inside of the Beer Fort.

Shelby Miller and Jeff Locke will be the starters.

NLCS Game 3: Cardinals at Pirates

The PBC look to continue the sweep of the hapless passed-out-at-the-red-light Cardinals. It will be the Vanimal vs. Lackey, game starting soon.

Here in the Beer Fort, we already have our champagne goggles on, and are already completely untucked. Next stop, World Series.

NLCS Game 2: Pirates at Cardinals

Pirates look to extend their series lead to 2-0 after last night's commanding win. By hitting for the cycle, driving in seven, and turning that unassisted triple play in the second, Jay Hay may have played the greatest game in NLCS history. None of this matters without the series win, of course.

Cole and Lynn starting. Rob Mackowiak has re-joined the team and will be available as a pinch hitter.

NLCS Game 1: Pirates at Cardinals

Liriano vs. Waino, starting soon.

NLDS Game 4: Nationals at Pirates

Former White Flag Ryan Vogelsong makes his dramatic Pirates return tonight after being claimed off waivers yesterday. He will face Gio Gonzalez.

Rinku Singh has been suspended for the rest of the postseason for his Chan Ho Park-style drop kick to Bryce Harper's face yesterday. The mysterious Romulo! Sanchez has come out of hiding and retirement to fill Rinku's bullpen spot.

NLDS Game 3: Nationals at Pirates

After that 15-inning nailbiter on Saturday, the Pirates bring the series home for game 3.

Fister and Locke will be the starters. Game on at 7. Stadium will be LOUD.

NFL Week 3: Steelers at Jaguars

Amidst the Pirates' playoff excitement, let's not forget about the 2-2 Steelers, who will crush the hapless Jags today.

NLDS Game 2: Pirates at Nationals

Still untucked from the beer fort party following Frankie's three-hit gem. Cleared some additional space on the wall of glory. Pirates lead the series, 1-0.

Cole 45 and Zimmerman. Game just underway.

NLDS Game 1: Pirates at Nationals

The Bucs look to continue their momentum coming off their miraculous 9-8 comeback in 12 innings. Game 1 features Liriano and Strasburg, getting ready to start.

NL Wild Card (for real): Giants at Pirates

After yesterday's meaningless exhibition game, it's time to get down to business and play this one-game playoff for real.

Not sure who's starting, but the game must be starting soon. Heading down to the ballpark!

NL Wild Card Game: Giants at Pirates

The games begin tonight. The Beer Fort is ready. We have extra black-and-gold bunting, extra black IPAs, and we cleared a little spot on the wall for a new glorious picture.

"Mad" Bumgamer and likely WS MVP Edinson Volquez get the start. Game on at 8.

Game 162: Pirates at Reds

Cole and Cueto underway, tied 1-1 in the 5th. Strong PENNANT smell still wafting into the Beer Fort's windows.

Game 161: Pirates at Reds

Liriano and Simon starting soon with the pennant on the line.

Game 160: Pirates at Reds

Free t-shirt Friday as Worley and Leake get the start.

Game on at 7.

Game 159: Pirates at Brewers

Volquez and Hale underway. Bickle just went yard to put the PBC up 1-0 in the first. Smell of PENNANT wafting into the Beer Fort windows.

Game 158: Pirates at Braves

Locke and Teheran underway. The Bucs have generously spotted the Braves 4 runs to make the late-inning comeback more entertaining.

Game 157: Pirates at Braves

Cole and Wood starting soon with the Division and Playoffs on the line.

Magic number down to 2.

Game 156: Pirates at Braves

Liriano battles the Harangutan, starting soon.

The hapless Braves fired their general manager this morning, apparently for not caring about winning or the PLAYOFFS.

PBC magic number is 3.

Game 155: Brewers at Pirates

Still half-tucked. Peralta and Worley starting soon.

Game 154: Brewers at Pirates

I will prolly do a half-assed half-tuck in time for the national anthem.

Large beer party ongoing at beer fort. Clearing spots on the wall for new framed photos.

Garza and Volquez.

Game 153: Brewers at Pirates

Locke and Gallardo starting soon with the Playoffs on the line. The raucous Beer Fort masses are all preparing to untuck.

Game 152: Red Sox at Pirates

Cole and Workman starting soon. Does the cheapskate owner of the hapless Bosox even care about winning?

Game 151: Red Sox at Pirates

As the Brewers and the Cardinals mangle one another, the surging Pirates continue a home series against the hapless, mismanaged, small-market Boston Red Sox. I almost feel sorry for the fans of this team.

Taylor Bucholz will start opposite playoff ace Francisco Liriano.

Playoff tickets on sale tomorrow morning.

Game 150: Red Sox at Pirates

Martay Partay in the 6th with the Bucs up 3-0 and the Playoffs on the line.

Off day

Bucs are off today, so should be able to get in extra bunting practice. Meanwhile, White Flag Vogelsong starts for the Giants, who are 3 games up for the first wild card slot.

Game 149: Cubs at Pirates

Turner and Volquez starting soon.

At 78-70, the Pirates are 3.5 back of the Cardinals and up 1.5 over the slumping Brewers. If the season ended today, the Pirates would be the last playoff seed.

Game 148: Cubs at Pirates

Locke takes on Doubront and the hapless Cubs tonight. Magic number still at 2.5.

Skyblast w/ Lynyrd Skynyrd after the W.

Game 147: Cubs at Pirates

Cole and the PBC are up 6-3 in the sixth against the hapless stone-handed Cubs. Already untucked.

NFL Week 2: Steelers at Ravens

No elevator jokes will be made the Steelers win at football.

Game 146: Pirates at Phillies

Frankie takes on Mr. STFD Shaving-Cream-Pie-in-Your-Face You'll-Bunt-Your-Eye-Out, starting soon. Meanwhile, Petey is out for the season with a broken foot. No word on laundry cart damage.

The Cards lost earlier today, so PBC magic number is 2.5

Game 145: Pirates at Phillies

The Vanimal and the PBC take an early 2-0 lead in the first vs. Jerome Williams, whoever that is.

Game 144: Pirates at Phillies

PBC down 4-3 in the eighth as they prepare for a dramatic comeback win.

Game 143: Pirates at Phillies

Locke and Kendrick soon.

Pirates are 4.5 back of St. Louis.

Game 142: Pirates at Cubs

Gerrit Cole went yard and the PBC opened a 19-hit can of whoopass on the hapless Cubs today. Magic number at 4.5.

Game 141: Pirates at Cubs

Yesterday's continuation is underway, tied at 3 in the 7th.

After that, Doubront and Liriano with the playoffs on the line.

Game 140: Pirates at Cubs

Feeling surly and out of sorts this afternoon, lounging about in a lawn chair outside the beer fort, ready to take in a day game after a week of frustratingly meaningless exhibition games.

All-Worldly and Wada will be the starters.

Game 139: Pirates at Cardinals

Volquez and Miller underway, scoreless in the fifth. Magic number back up to 4.

Game 138: Pirates at Cardinals

Locke and Wainwright starting soon. Bucs' magic number at three.

Game 136: Reds at Pirates

Liriano and Cueto starting now. Bucs magic number at two.

Game 135: Reds at Pirates

The Pirates continue to round into WS Champion form at just the right time, like the professionals they are.

Looks like the hapless Reds are starting Randall Simon. That says everything you need to know about the Cincinnati team. He'll square off with future WS MVP Vance Worley.

Game 134: Reds at Pirates

Free T-Shirt Night! Leake and Volquez start at seven. The Bucs' magic number to clinch the pennant is 4.

Game 133: Cardinals at Pirates

Locke and Wainwright underway. Bucs are up 2-1 in the third after IFD went yard again. Bickle just bunted the bases loaded. Prepare to untuck.

Game 132: Cardinals at Pirates

Lynn and Cole starting soon in a NLCS preview.

Off day

The World-Series-Bound PBC had the day off today. Perhaps the time wasted on a meaningless split squad scrimmage could have been better used on extra bunting practice. Real games and pennant race starts up again tomorrow.

Game 130: Pirates at Brewers

Future WS MVP Vance Worley starts against Mike Fiers, who has also been throwing up some postseason-worthy starts. Game on shortly. Been untucked all weekend.

Game 129: Pirates at Brewers

Peralta and Volquez underway with Petey playing first base. Bucs need another win as I'm still untucked from last night.

Game 128: Pirates at Brewers

Gallardo and Locke starting soon. This game will be featured heavily on the 2014 PBC World Champions DVD as one of the turning points to the pennant. Already untucked.

Game 127: Braves at Pirates

The PBC will try to WIN tonight against Alex Wood. Gerrit Cole has returned, in time to clinch the pennant.

Game 126: Braves at Pirates

Liriano takes on the Harangutan, starting shortly. Cutch has returned, in time to clinch the pennant.

Game 125: Braves at Pirates

Santana and Worley starting soon.

Pedro Alvarez batting fifth and starting at first base.

NFL preseason: Steelers 19, Bills 16

Meanwhile, Shazam!

Game 124: Pirates at Nationals

Volquez and Fister just underway. NFW has returned to clinch the pennant. Prepare to untuck.

Game 123: Pirates at Nationals

Locke and Gonzalez underway with the playoffs on the line.

Game 122: Pirates at Nationals

Morton and Roark in a possible NLCS Championship preview.

Not sure why the league lets Walgreens--a pharmacy--sponsor a team, but there it is. I guess the D.C. fans just yawn when evidence of doping is that obvious. It's a pretty jaded town.

No worries. The Nats can take all the pills they want, and Charlie Morton should still handle them nbd.

Game 121: Tigers at Pirates

Scherzer and Liriano at one.

The top of the NL Central is treading water, 5-5 in their last ten. Pirates at 1.5 games out of first.

Game 120: Pirates at Tigers

The Vanimal and Farmer underway. Bucs are down 1-0 in the third, and are just 1.5 games out of first. The Don Kelly posters in the Beer Fort have been vandalized with sharpie mustaches.

Game 119: Tigers at Pirates

Ray and Volquez tonight in another World Series preview. Bucs are 2.5 games back.

Game 118: Tigers at Pirates

Game is underway. World Series preview, right here.

Verlander and Locke starting.

Honus Wagner bobblehead: tomorrow.

Off day

The Bucs took the day off today. Nothing to see here.

Game 116: Padres at Pirates

Liriano and Stults underway. Bucs down 2-1 in the second.

Game 115: Padres at Pirates

Kennedy tries to stop the Vanimal, starting soon. Bucs are just 1.5 games back with the hated Brewers and Cards facing the first place Dodgers and Orioles, respectively. Prepare to untuck.

Game 114: Marlins at Pirates

Game underway. No score in the bottom of the third.

Pirates are two games back and need another win here.

Game 113: Marlins at Pirates

Locke and Koehler starting shortly. PBC still 2.5 games back.

Game 112: Marlins at Pirates

Hand and Morton, about to start.

Game 111: Pirates at Diamondbacks

Liriano continues his gradual return to WS MVP form at four.

Cahill will try for Arizona.

Off day tomorrow.

Game 110: Pirates at Diamondbacks

Bucs are up 8-3 in the bottom of the ninth as Frieri tries to either finish the game or break somebody else's hand.

Game 109: Pirates at Diamondbacks

Nuno and Volquez later tonight with the playoffs on the line. Bucs 2.5 games back.

Game 108: Pirates at Diamondbacks

Locke and Collmenter at 9:40.

Last series of this West coast road trip.

Trade deadline

One rumor recently overheard has All-Star Josh F. Harrison, Ernesto Frieri, Chris Stewart, and Michael Martinez to the Red Sox for Lester and a player to be named later.

Scrimmage

No game today, just a meaningless scrimmage, so it doesn't matter what happened. In other news, the Cards got destroyed 12-1.

Game 106: Pirates at Giants

Frankie and Hudson underway. Bucs are up 3-0 in the second after JFH and Bickle both went yard.

The Brewers lost earlier, so the PBC are 1.5 games out of first. Prepare to untuck.

Game 105: Pirates at Giants

The Vanimal takes on Bumgarner in a likely NLCS Game 4 preview. Morel starting at third as Pedro practices throwing at widest side of Beer Fort barn.

Game 104: Pirates at Rockies

Morales and Volquez at four with the playoffs on the line.

Game 103: Pirates at Rockies

Locke and Matzek at 8.

Pirates are six over .500 and three games out of first. The Cards are up on the Cubs and the Brewers get started with the Mets in an hour.

Game 101: Pirates at Rockies

Charlie Morton takes on Jimmy Anderson again tonight. Bucs three games back.

Game 100: Dodgers at Pirates

Frankie and Haren tonight in a likely NLCS preview.

Game 99: Dodgers at Pirates

After Polanco and Bickle drive in runs to put the PBC up 7-4, Cutch just got beaned. Prepare for fisticuffs.

Game 98: Dodgers at Pirates

Volquez and Ryu tonight. PBC 1.5 games out.

Game 97: Rockies at Pirates

Rockies up 2-0 in the top of the first.